Fool-proof diet for losing weight. Yes, seriously.

Now is the time of year that we are bound to put on a few pounds as the Quality Streets are passed around freely. By way of Richard Beddard, I happened to come across Graeme’s website, which is mostly about investment, but there was one article, How to eat healthily in one blog post, that prompted me to have a rant about dieting. I’ll summarise his post in one sentence: apples good, deep-fried Mars bars bad. Got that? OK, let me continue to vent my spleen.

Tired of the grapefruit diet, the cabbage soup diet, Atkins heart-attack-inducing Diet, and the dozens of others that you might have tried, all in vain?

Don’t despair, I have the answer for you. Guaranteed! This miracle dieting secret will not only help you lose wait, but keep it off forever. It is the only diet you will ever need. What’s more, the more weight you lose, the more money you’ll save.

Just what is this miracle diet?

Well, I’ll tell you.

Are you ready?


Here goes: Eat less food, you fat pig.

Yes, that’s right, forget all the guff about protein suppressing appetite, about whether Coca Cola’s switch to corn sugar has increased obesity because cane sugar is so hideously hideously expensive (surely the can costs more than the sugar?) – or get this – obesity is caused by bacteria. Pfft.

A couple of years ago, I went on a diet, and went from about 12.5 stone to 10.5 stone over the course of the year. I’m now about 10 stone. I have never regressed For the first wee whiley,

My inspiration was Hacker’s Diet, which is available for free.

I am going to make your job even easier than the Hacker’s Diet. I did follow the exercise program – which I still do, because it’s healthy for me, and besides, I like to show off my lean handsome body. Vain? You bet your fat sagging arse it’s vain. The good news is that you don’t need exercise to lose weight. You don’t even have to count calories – how many calories are really in your meal, anyway?

So hold on, a diet where you don’t have to exercise, count calories, or eat special food? Surely some mistake?

Well, no actually, it’s all for real. The secret of diet is this: it’s all about calories in versus calories out. The Immutable Laws Of Physics compels it. Here’s what I did:

For about the first 6 months, I gave up sweets and junky type food. Then, I cut my food intake by about 25%. You could start with 20% if you like, and see how you get on. Do not crash diet. Aim to lose about 1lb a week. That should be entirely possible. 2lb is possible, but it is too punishing for more than a short while. You could set your weight loss goal at a more moderate 0.5lbs a week. Anyone ought to be able to accomplish that, if they put their mind to it.

I also record my weight every day. That tends to keep me on track. When you notice deviances say +/- 2.5lbs from your goal weight, I tend to start making appropriate corrections. I still eat some delicious Cadbury’s Chocolate Roll, crisps, and drink Coca Cola. But I don’t over-indulge, and my daily weight recordings keeps me honest.

So, here’s the plan: work out what your ideal weight should be based on standard charts. Set a goal for weekly weight loss: 0.5lb per week minimum (or else you’re just not trying), 1.5lb maximum. Let’s call it 1lb per week. You could push it to 2lb, although I wouldn’t recommend it for any length of time. Don’t turn it into an ego thing. You see these women weighing themselves, and they start blubbing when things aren’t going according to plan. Don’t blub, don’t call yourself a “loser”, “failure”, “weak-willed” or whatever other negative word you choose to call yourself, just take corrective action. Don’t eat any junk for the first 6 months. Scale back your food intake to about 80% of normal, and over the course of about a month, judge the rate of your weight loss by this scaling process. Weigh yourself every day. If you’re losing weight too fast, then eat more. If you’re not losing weight fast enough, then eat less. There’s no need to “count” calories obsessively. Do not buy special dietary products, or spend money at weight-watchers and suchlike. You will, however, make your task vastly easier by cutting out junk food, and eating healthy food, particularly fruit. Then, when you have reached your ideal weight, scale your food intake back up. Keep weighing yourself. The scales don’t lie, and inform you to take corrective action when things get out of balance.

It will help to read the Hacker’s Diet to flesh out the details I’ve just given you.

Oh, and one last thing. During the weight-reduction phase, you will feel hungry. That’s just a fact. Deal with it. The faster the weight loss, the more pronounced the effect. 0.5lbs per week loss I could barely notice hunger-wise. That’s why I reckon that anyone is capable of producing such a rate of loss. 1lb is more noticeable, but in my opinion doable. 1.5lb starts to bite somewhat, which is why I recommend it as the maximum. 2lb is still possible, but it’s really noticeable, and I don’t recommend it. Use common sense, and try not to turn it into a battle of willpower.

How much simpler could a diet possibly be?

A healthy, happy and prosperous New Year to you all.

Edit 23-Dec-2012 : “Specific Gut Bacteria May Account For Much Obesity” Link on Slashdot


About mcturra2000

Computer programmer living in Scotland.
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3 Responses to Fool-proof diet for losing weight. Yes, seriously.

  1. Pingback: Foolproof diet plan

  2. Gina says:

    Well I was taking in 1000-1200 calories and doing weights working out 5-6 days a wk and taking off and on a pound for2 wks so what would u suggest after I just ruined my metabolism I’m nervous about going up in calories so what to do now? 5’7 239 lbs

    • mcturra2000 says:

      It’s unclear what you’re saying. Dieting is a marathon, not a sprint. Two weeks is an exceptionally short time to diet for. Eating properly is a lifetime habit, not something you do for a few weeks.

      What do you mean by “ruined my metabolism”, anyway?

      Are you male or female?

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