Not entirely humorous

The subject of castration came up recently, so I thought I’d share a couple of anecdotes …

When I was living with my parents in Essex, we had a young Jack Russell terrier called Toby. He hadn’t been fixed, and there came a time when he started to become outrageously horny. He always sat with my father, who became the incessant subject of his amorous advances. My grandparents were staying over at the house at the time. I was either in my late teens or early twenties. I found his shenanigans hilarious, and my giggling would often set my father off, too. So, imagine the scene, generations of the family sitting around for civilised conversation. My father simply rests his arm on the base of armchair, to be pounced upon instantly by the terrier, who then proceeded to “show it some loving”. The all-round tension was further heightened when I cheekily dead-panned the line “He probably thinks dad’s arm is a lady dachshund”. I chuckled, my dad showed a mirthful response, although clearly embarassed, and the rest of the family just sat by passively as if nothing was wrong. I think it a catalyst for having Toby fixed.

Shortly after moving to Scotland, someone’s stallion had escaped from its owners. Running down the road, it diverted itself into one of my fields. I called the police, who, shortly after, was able to identify the owner. The owner, a middle-aged lady, and her son came around to inspect the horse. I was in my early 20’s, and her son was a few years younger. She said that the horse was “entire”. I asked what that meant, and she explained that it meant “not castrated”. Oh! She said that it had probably escaped because, like “all young males”, it was prone to aggression. I couldn’t help thinking at the time that she was referring to either me or her son indirectly.


About mcturra2000

Computer programmer living in Scotland.
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